Ever since my eyes opened into the world ahead, I was a child. Even now, currently age 21, there still is a child living within me.
This child is full of hope and belief in the good of mankind. It trusts those around them with no judgement and patience. Even when things seem weary and shady, the hopefulness and patience within itself fuels the perseverance of it’s trust. It believes that deep down every soul is goodness.
“No one can be born evil,”
it believes with all its heart.
Why does this child still live on? Why hasn’t it aged?
This child lives on because I never really had a childhood to express the child that I was many years ago. At the age of a child, I had tremendous load to carry and protect. As an actual child, I had be mature, smart, and excellent in every way.
The child was locked away. As the outer shell grew with time, the chains keeping the child locked away grew stronger. Alone in the room of cold and darkness, the child waited for the moment, to be let loose. To be able to express to it’s heart’s content.
However, whenever the child emerges, so does the forces that try to scare it back into it’s chamber.
Deceit, betrayal, violence, bullying, backstabbing, and the list goes on.
This recent year, the child slowly crawled out of it’s chambers to give life another chance. To believe in goodness and trust people again.
However, the cycle seems to repeat itself over again. The child is stabbed at it’s heart. Trust shattered, the wound reopens for the millionth time.
There’s a mixture of regret of taking courage to take a step out and thankfulness of the lessons learned about life, which will help the brain of the outer shell grow wiser.
Fear fogs over once more and the video of all the past experiences play out before the child–in sleep and in reality. It’s hands tremble as the heart quivers in pain.
What lies ahead for the outer shell and the child? Was the step it took outside really worth it?